“I’m in labor.”

“Go pee.”

“Breathe.”

“Blow.”

These are the only four things, I am assured by our birthing class instructor, that I need to remember when going to the hospital to have a baby. I wrote them down on a pamphlet she gave me so I wouldn't forget, and posted it on the refrigerator when I got home. I looked at several times a day for more than two months. I would not forget when the time came.

My friend Mark with his very unique take on becoming a daddy. Very funny reading and well in keeping with Mark’s matter-of-fact view on things.